"Woman must not accept, she must challenge"

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This article is based on my mother's childhood memory which co-relates to the current lockdown situation.

When the government gave relaxation in lockdown by opening up a few places, the most crowded ones were beer shops with long and never ending queues.

We have been scared of this virus to death but here, social distancing was like something out of the blue. It seemed like people ran out of their houses like they have been craving for a drop of water in a dessert, maybe they were. On the other hand, I was startled with the thought that how were these men and women able to survive for this long without their ‘Amrit’.

I am a regular newspaper reader and these days it’s only flooded with the covid 19 updates. But, the day I read about the liquor shops opening, I recalled something from my childhood.

When I was 10 years old, I remember, I was very fond of my neighbour ‘Gauri aunty’. She used to live next door. She used to run some errands and therefore, her house was always full of colorful things like –

1. plastic dolls which she used to paint with the help of her children

2. Rakhi making on the occasion of Raksha Bandhan

3. Bindi which she used to stick on cards.

As a child, I would also enjoy painting the eyes and lips of the plastic dolls and making Rakhis with her. I used to feel so proud of myself for being able to help her but little did I know that she used to do these petty things for the survival of her family. Though, her husband used to do a government job as a peon but he was a chronic alcoholic. He used to spend all his earnings in buying liquor.

When the riots of 1984 happened because of assassination of Indira Gandhi, everything was closed just like what happens in a lockdown. Because of crisis of liquor, just like everything else, Gauri Aunty’s husband drank some spurious liquor and he died the very next day. I had tears in my eyes for the loss of Gauri Aunty and her children.

You might wonder what a sad story to lament about? Well, NO.

This story is about the empowerment of an illiterate woman who uplifted herself and emerged as a strong and self sufficient one.

Right after the death of her husband she was offered the same job in his place as a peon. She started going to the office with a bag on her shoulders, wearing sarees and confidence like a trophy. She stopped running her small errands for good. Gauri Aunty, who used to live in a rented house, bought a house of her own with a room for each of her children. Her daughter, who was 6 years older than me, got married to a decent guy who owned a house in Delhi , which was a big thing back then. Her two sons also established their businesses and were well settled. Often, I used to see her doing house chores, going to office, managing her house and office work without her husband, ALONE.

We all are bound to social stigma. Sometimes a thought would hit my head that whether Gauri aunty has ever compared her life with and without her husband. Her children miss the presence of their father since they can call themselves a part of a happy family now, but not a complete one. Even after trying a lot, Gauri aunty couldn’t change such vicious habits of her husband. She still survived many years with a person who harassed her emotionally, mentally and physically. We cannot hate on someone for the type of person they are, it’s the habits that make the scenario worse.

Since nothing is impossible, there’s always another day for a fresh start, to look up at the sun and feel enlightened and to look up at the moon and not feel lost in this turmoil of life. Facing the society we live in, can be tough sometimes because not everyone thinks like us and we don’t think like everyone else. But no matter how much we have progressed, deep down in our hearts we still have some questions like-

1) Why does most of the time the society blames the woman for giving up on her marriage even after she tries to work out her relationship with her husband? (just like Gauri aunty’s case)

2)Why does most of the time, a man who’s addicted, gives up on his life? For example, Aashiqui 2 and of course, the story of my Gauri aunty.

3) Who shall be held responsible for the miserable condition of the family of the man who died?

We can rant over how, sometimes, our husbands can make our lives a little less easier but what can we do if our brother, son or father does the same thing? If the woman abandons her husband then she and her children suffer the most and when she does not do so, does she deserve to be a part of this issue and continue becoming vulnerable to all the problems throughout her life? Why does the society gives cold shoulder to a woman who suffers from the predicament of being helpless.